Newest Family Member

This is Lucas, the newest member of our family. He is SO CUTE!! He is a German Shorthair Pointer. His temperment is sweet and energentic. He loves Morden and has been a very fun addition to the family. Puppies are a lot of work, Morden will attest to that fact! However, we had talked about that quite a bit before deciding on actually taking on this new little responsibility. Morden assured me he was up to the task, and so far he sure has been! It's a joy to watch Morden enjoy the puppy and be willing to take care of him. It's not easy, but it has definitely been worth it.

PLAYING AT GRANDMA'S

We were able to take the puppy to Grandma's house for a play date. The puppies sure had fun together. At first Lucas was terrified and snuggled close to me, but after a while he got the hang of another dog and thoroughly enjoyed himself.



This weekend Morden and I looked up dog parks and found two somewhat close to our home. We went to one of the parks on Sunday and played for about 3 ho9urs. It was a fun fenced in area that had drinking fountains for both humans and dogs. There were grassy places for the dogs to play and tunnels and such to run around. Most importantly there were other dog friends. Lucas quickly became the star of the park. Within 30 minutes we had around 15 dogs playing around us. (This could have been Lucas's shining personality, Morden's willingness to romp with all dogs, or the fact that I had thought to bring an actually water bowl and treats....who knows, maybe a combination of all three.) Needless to say we had so much fun!! We plan on doing it again next weekend and really as much as possible until winter.



Now we can't always take him to the park for three hours, but we make sure to play with him tons, both in the house and outside on the grass or walking (running) about the neighborhood.

In the end we are all tuckered out, especially Lucas!

Joy

Joy is watching your children and the children of those you love just BE. Be themselves. Express themselves. Learn about themselves and the world around them.

Having conversations with your son that teach you he wants to have power of the elements and why that would be amazing to him. Discussing with Miss Kylie what would be best to wear for the day and why. Reading about life with the Hatches.

Watching them all play, and argue, and cry, and laugh. Watching them love.

That is joy!

Coming Out of My Shell

I have realized I am different. I know, big shocker. I can extrapolate on multiple reasons why I say this, but here is just one. I have noticed that my sweet sisters, my women friends, and other mothers around me are just far funner then me. (Not funnier, because hey, we all know I'm pretty funny!) However, they have this wonderful lust for life that allows them to want to be out and about building memories and just simply enjoying life. I find that I enjoy life far differently, and far more quietly. I feel bad for this, it can't be nearly as fun for my children, especially for my sweet son who needs more good memories.

If I had to pick a great weekend it would be to be at home surrounded by those things I am comfortable with doing silly, quiet things. I would definitely want and need my son with me, but I would have quiet simple activities that I am realizing are probably quite boring for my 11 year old son.

I am so grateful for my family that pulls me out of my shell. Morden would have very few memories if I didn't have my sisters and parents coaxing me into doing activities. What doesn't make sense to me is I always have fun. I always enjoy doing them and am so glad that Morden and I were given the opportunities to share these moments. However, I still feel axious about them at the beginning and the thought of coming up with the ideas and executing them is really quite scary.

I am done with that though. It's time to embrace life. I'm finally feeling well enough to do some of these fun things. I refuse to let fear of the unknown, or the uncomfortable, or just fear of being tired pull me out of doing those things I know I love to do and things I know my family would like to do.

Grief

Grief is tiring.

The heaviness in my heart crushes me. I'm stagnant, still, unable to move without enormous effort. Gravity pulls on my extremities, dragging my limbs downward as though ball bearings have been slipped under the skin of my fingers and toes. My blood is sludge, it stops and starts through the body. Not fluid; almost solid.



My mind has stalled. I watch as a visitor as I make my way through the day. There, but not really. I dress, look, act normal. Others see me; sense something is wrong, stay away. I am an outsider. I am transparent. If I pull inside myself farther, longer, I may disappear.




I grieve. For what I don't know: my sweet cat, my sister far away, my sister gone these two years. Or for the unknown future and the possibility of losing someone else I love.



Today...I grieve.



Tomorrow...I hope to live.

WORLD CUP

The World Cup began last week and it's been amazing. Yesterday was the first USA game. They played against England, (also a favorite team of mine.) I was sooo excited to watch and had no one to share my excitement with. My sweetheart was at work, my kids sleeping, and my family not answering my phone calls, (maybe they knew why I was calling and were in hiding!) This was definitely a moment where I sorely missed my little bro Kevie! Minutes before the game started, Diego woke up from the dead to watch with me. At last, someone with some understanding of the enormity of the situation at hand.

We played amazingly! Our Keeper, Tim Howard (his picture is above), was so fun to watch. At one point he was kicked in the ribs, (most likely severely brusing or breaking them,) and did he leave, no he did not, he stayed and stopped almost everything that came his way. England is by far the better team, but once again the US showed that guts can sometimes result in a VICTORY....ok, so actually we tied. But in my book, that is a victory!