Coming Out of My Shell

I have realized I am different. I know, big shocker. I can extrapolate on multiple reasons why I say this, but here is just one. I have noticed that my sweet sisters, my women friends, and other mothers around me are just far funner then me. (Not funnier, because hey, we all know I'm pretty funny!) However, they have this wonderful lust for life that allows them to want to be out and about building memories and just simply enjoying life. I find that I enjoy life far differently, and far more quietly. I feel bad for this, it can't be nearly as fun for my children, especially for my sweet son who needs more good memories.

If I had to pick a great weekend it would be to be at home surrounded by those things I am comfortable with doing silly, quiet things. I would definitely want and need my son with me, but I would have quiet simple activities that I am realizing are probably quite boring for my 11 year old son.

I am so grateful for my family that pulls me out of my shell. Morden would have very few memories if I didn't have my sisters and parents coaxing me into doing activities. What doesn't make sense to me is I always have fun. I always enjoy doing them and am so glad that Morden and I were given the opportunities to share these moments. However, I still feel axious about them at the beginning and the thought of coming up with the ideas and executing them is really quite scary.

I am done with that though. It's time to embrace life. I'm finally feeling well enough to do some of these fun things. I refuse to let fear of the unknown, or the uncomfortable, or just fear of being tired pull me out of doing those things I know I love to do and things I know my family would like to do.